Future plans

Everyone always says that home is where the heart is. It's a nice idea, but it's so much more complicated than that. Ever since this past summer in London, I've been wrestling like crazy with trying to figure out where I'm supposed to be.

My heart has been so torn between so many places and so many people and so many passions, and I haven't had any peace or clarity about where I'm meant to be.

I came home from London with the mindset that I was graduating in May, and taking a few Maymester classes to finish things up. It was shocking to adjust to, but I came to terms with it. And then I came back to JMU. And it was exciting and high energy and I got so wrapped up in all the potential of new communities and positions and I didn't want to ever leave. So, I dropped a class that was stressing me out, and I decided I was staying until next December and only graduating a semester early.

And now, the semester has reached the halfway point, and I've been realizing a LOT. This isn't where I need to be for another year and some change. I have absolutely loved my time at JMU, but I can feel it coming to a close sooner than that.

"He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him." -David Platt in Radical

This past weekend brought a lot up in my heart. I went home and got away from all of my life here and had time to just think things through. Yesterday, I spent all evening calling all sorts of people in the registrar's office and checking MyMadison a million times and trying to figure everything out...and it's all working out flawlessly. I can walk in graduation in May, and finish my remaining credits this summer.

God is so, so, so good. I'm finally at peace about it all. I didn't believe it could all work out this late in the game, but God is opening so many doors and creating such a clear path ahead of me.

It's a big change, and I know people are going to have all sorts of opinions on it. But, I'm ready. I'm ready for graduation and moving on and new adventures and new places and new challenges. And more than that, I have such peace and confidence in the fact that I know this is what God is calling me to do.

"This is how God works. He puts his people in positions where they are desperate for his power, and then he shows his provision in ways that display his greatness." -David Platt in Radical

I'm thankful for a Father who is providing for me so tangibly. I'm thankful for my time at JMU and for how much I've grown in my faith and in my relationships. I'm thankful for the people closest to me who are supporting me and encouraging me to follow my heart and where I'm being led. I'm so excited for what's ahead and for how I'll grow so much more in my dependence on Him and confidence in His will for my life.

"I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." -Jeremiah 29:11-13, The Message

Finals Week

Sunday- submitted my final Writing in the Public Sphere paper to Nina via email...since my blog is already all wrapped up, THAT'S IT for that class! Just waiting for her feedback on everything and my final grades.


Monday- Media and Politics final at 10am. He had given us five essay topics during our last class session, and we had to write two of them in class. It was stressing me out to prepare for it, because I didn't know how much to research, what I needed to include, etc etc etc. It turns out that I prepared exactly how I needed to. I sat down in class to write them and completely visualized all the notes I had written out this weekend, and I breezed through writing both of them in the 90 minutes we had! I feel pretty good about them overall, I'm just nervous about his grading because he's so arbitrary with things like that. We'll see, I guess. I'm fairly sure I'll get a B in this class, but it's the only one I know I won't have an A in, so it's all good.


Tuesday- Turned my final Culture by Design paper in to Charlotte (it's due to her by 4 pm). Feeling good about that, good about that class in general! Had to go Media and Society to turn in our papers (differences between churches/faith/religion in the UK and the US and how media plays into it), and have a discussion about things we learned this semester being here. We were out of there by 10:45, and now there is absolutely nothing left that I have to do!


Aaaaannnndddd, just got an email from Nina about my final grades: A- on my exam, A on my blog, and A- in the class overall! HOORAY yayayay.


Her comments about my blog: 

 "It was such a pleasure to read your entry every week: I will really miss them! Your writing is polished, elegant, and, above, all thoughtful. I loved the way that you were able to strike such an effective balance between responding to specific questions and situating those answers within a much broader context. Keep on writing – always!"

She's awesome. And then there was this:

"Thank you for your very kind words in the final blog. This course was such a learning experience for me, and I was really anxious about how it would work in the beginning. We ended up making it up as we went along, but you made that so easy to do. You’ve impressed me over and over with your quick intelligence, thoughtfulness (this seems to be a word I keep returning to!), and curiosity. I wish you all the best. Please let me know occasionally how you are doing. And remember that you always have a room in Wimbledon! 
Enjoy the final days of your stay in London, and have a safe trip home. Nina" 

WAAAAHHH I'm going to miss that class like no other.

But, in other news, total freedom until my Saturday morning departure! What to do, what to do. I'm just ready to be back at this point. Trying to motivate myself to do things this week and stay busy, but I'm just pretty much checked out and tired. Almost done- so so crazy.

Things I'm looking forward to about the States

I've started to realize there are quite a few random things I'm really looking forward to about being back in the States. Friends and my family, you're a given.

Here they are.

1. Air conditioning.
2. Ice. Ice water. Ice all the time. Ice whenever I want ice.
3. My shower that has room for me to actually move around
4. Dishwashers. I've hand washed entirely too many dishes this summer and have really come to miss and appreciate dishwashers
5. Cell phone service, texting, iMessaging, not needing wifi to be able to talk to everyone all the time
6. Only a three hour time difference from Kyle (you mean we'll actually be in the same day most of the time?! Insane.)
7. Driving my car. I think I might have forgotten how to drive, though...
8. Listening to music on Pandora and Spotify. They don't work in the UK, and I miss having unlimited music all the time.
9. Pools. The river. Belle Isle.
10. Actual summer weather. And sunshine. And heat.
11. My whole closet full of clothes to choose from, not just the things I was able to bring with me.
12. Blinds and curtains that shut out the light when the sun rises so it doesn't wake me up at 4 am everyday.
13. My dog. Silly but so true. I miss that stinker.
14. Getting to be artsy. I miss painting and crafting and having everything I need to do so right in my room.
15. Wearing shorts. And dresses. And not lots of layers and rain jackets and rainboots everyday.
16. Family dinners.
17. Having tv, and catching up on my shows that I've been missing all summer.
18. All my usual hair/makeup/beauty products. For some reason, I didn't bring hardly anything. I'm pretty tired of the cheap, mint eucalyptus shampoo I bought here, and the funny smelling lotion that isn't even that great. And my hair products so I don't have to keep my hair all tied up everyday.
19. Actual coffee makers that are quick and easy and not French presses.
20. Being able to work out in my own house, with plenty of room and all the equipment I need, etc. It would be weird and really awkward if I did yoga in the common room here. I can't wait to work out again.
21. Ranch dressing! It doesn't exist here.

I guess not everything about leaving London is bad!

Monday/Tuesday, the 9th/10th

Monday- Media and Politics
We had about an hour of lecture, a break to go grab breakfast, and then no outing, but instead we watched the Prime Minister's questions online! The Prime Minister's questions is a weekly, 30-minute really energetic and amusing interrogation of the PM. Basically, people ask him questions and he avoids them very skillfully while everyone hoots and hollers and makes a ton of noise and gets very worked up. It was interesting to watch and definitely VERY different than politics in the US!

We got our papers back and got information about our final essays that will be written in class- it's the only class I'm really anxious about in terms of the final. I got a B on the paper, which was a little disappointing after all the work that I put into it, and even more so because everyone else wrote theirs the night before and got the same grades or better. Oh well. His comments were that my quotations were too long and I didn't include the page numbers in my citations...so if that's why I got a B, I at least feel good that my argument and writing was good, and it was just little things that docked my grade down.

We got out of class super early since we didn't have our outing, and I've spent the day doing readings and writing papers and getting stuff done for all my classes and just overall being productive!

When Amanda got back from her class, we went to the grocery store to get food for the week, and came home and made dinner (an omelette with lots of peppers for me, and fresh fruit). Have been working on writing my final paper for Media and Society all evening, too.


Tuesday- Media and Society
We talked about film and talked more about our final papers and watched two different movies for our class time, and then were off on our outing. We went on a walk around Soho that was pretty random, but we saw a bunch of record shops, saw where 20th Century Fox is located, went to the Radha Krishna Temple, went down a street where brothels used to be very popular, saw the Palladium, went to a record shop, and just explored the area basically.

Palladium

our professor leading us through the streets of Soho

I'm constantly being surprised by how many new things I keep discovering that are right around where I've been living all summer- London has so much more to offer than I'll ever be able to see and explore fully.

After Soho, we had time before Culture By Design, so a few of us came back to Madison House to eat and kill time before class. I made a quick lunch and then we were back off to the FSU building for class.

We had a guest speaker instead of a normal lecture- the Film Adaptations professor (who is also BFF with our professor) came to talk to us about TV shows and the contrasts between similar types of shows in the UK and US and such. He was a really awesome professor, and I loved his lecture. We watched the teasers (intro scene before the opening credits) of a variety of pilots of TV shows from here and from the States, and it was really cool to see the differences and similarities between them.

After watching the clips, we got in groups and had to plan/write the teaser of our own cop drama show. At first, we had no idea what to make ours about, but we eventually came up with a pretty cool idea about a cop show set in suburbia. Our basic idea was a parallel between kids playing chase/cops and robbers on a playground and that scene switching to a real life chase between a good guy and bad guy in a neighborhood and then back to the kids, etc, as the two scenes echoed each other, ending in a shot being fired by the real good/bad guy right as one of the kids pretends to shoot another kid, and then the kids turning around because it turns out the real chase is on the street near where they are playing, etc.

It was really cool to hear the other groups' ideas and to discuss what was hard about writing the teaser, etc. I really liked that we actually got to do it for ourselves instead of just watching real TV shows, and it was a really fun last class.

We got out pretty early since we didn't have an outing, which was nice. Came back to the flat and had time to kill again before we went to see Matilda!

We had to be at the theatre at around 6:30 pm, and it was just nearby in Covent Garden area, so we all walked there together to meet Rusty. We got our tickets from him and took pictures as a group before heading in to the theatre.

Our whole group with Rusty and his daughters!

I was getting SO excited for this musical- I loved Matilda as a kid and read the book several times and saw the movie and just love Roald Dahl's work, so I was really excited to see it come to life! When we got in and saw the AWESOME set, I got even MORE stoked about it. It was just so cool!

seriously, how cool is this?!

Liz, Kelly, me, Nora

The show was absolutely wonderful- the kids did SUCH a good job and the girl that played Matilda was excellent! It was so fun seeing the story come to life and to catch all the things geared at adults that would have gone over the kids' heads. The songs were so good and the set was just incredible the whole time, I loved it. Such a great show! Ahhh.

Came back to the house afterward and crashed! Tuesdays are always SO LONG.

First weekend of July

Thursday- 

A group of about 6 or 7 us had signed up a while ago to go back to Buckingham Palace for a tour, since the first time we went, we weren't able to get close or really see it due to a big 10K event that was going on. We had to meet there at 9:30, and we had a tour at 9:45. We got audio guides and were on our own to explore the Palace. It was really cool to see the inside of, and I learned a lot more than I was expecting to. It was similar to other palaces and things we have seen, with the style of furniture and decorations and art and such, but it's where the royals live, so it's still pretty dang awesome. We ended up spending a few hours there, ending in the gardens and at a gift shop.

Everyone split off after the gift shop, and Amanda and I ended up stopping at Pret for lunch and then heading home to get things done. My knee was really bothering me still, and even with wearing my brace and taking my meds and everything, I wasn't up for any more walking at all. I'm really hoping it starts to feel better again so it doesn't keep putting a damper on my last few weeks here. 

We stopped at the grocery store on the way home and I got fruit and stuff for salads (NEED MORE VEGGIES). We both just hung out at the house all afternoon and got things done and napped, ate dinner, etc.

We had a film night for a group outing (the film class had to go anyway, but we have two films that are for all of us), and we left early to get snacks on the way and then get there. It was at the Clapham Picture House, and we were seeing Spike Lee's first movie, "Do the Right Thing" that was made in the 80s. I wasn't excited about it at all, as I didn't know anything about it, and would have much rather seen a movie that just came out. (Also, while we were hanging out before going into the theatre, we got word that one of the girls in our group was leaving to go home, so it definitely put a damper on the evening. We miss you, Beth!)

When we got there, it ended up being a cool little venue with a bar and only 4 theatres. I got popcorn and was starting to get more into the whole thing, and when we went into our theatre and they were handing out free pizzas, I knew it was going to be good after all :) Turns out the event was put on by a local film blogger whose blog name is based on a line from the movie, and it was just a unique event to show this film. He explained the context of it all and introduced the film and did a raffle (Griffin won a bottle of champagne or wine or something!). 

The movie ended up being really good. They showed it on 35mm, so it had a totally different feel than movies do these days, which made it seem a lot cooler. It was definitely a powerful film that showed a lot of the anger and confusion of racial identity in the 80s, and it was seriously shocking at some points. Definitely worth seeing. Gets you thinking about a lot of things, for sure. The movie got out around 11 and we all came home right after. I was able to skype Kyle, which was so good and definitely cheered me up despite my knee getting even worse. Good way to end the evening!

Friday-

Almost everyone left early in the morning to go to Paris for the weekend. I didn't go, as I had done basically everything they would be doing this weekend when I went with my grandparents in 2010! I was really looking forward to a weekend with nobody here (there were only going to be 4 of us in the house). I woke up and found that the lightbulbs in both bathrooms and the hallway that they are on were all burned out, and there's absolutely no natural light in there, so it was totally dark and pretty freaky when it was just me in the flat. I wasn't able to find Charlotte all morning, but I left her a note about it and filled out a maintenance request, and was really hoping they would fix it before the night.

I decided to go to the Museum of London and explore, since it was free and only a few tube stops away and I hadn't been yet. It was basically the history of London from the very beginning, and it ended up being a lot of the same types of exhibits and such that I've seen at other museums. I wandered around the whole place, mostly just browsing and not really reading anything too seriously. It was a pretty confusing layout for a museum, and I just wasn't too interested in anything I saw, but I'm glad I went and saw it! Checked that off my London bucket list. I had read that the museum had a good gift shop and I was hoping to find something interesting for people I still needed gifts for, but I found nothing exciting and decided to head home. My knee was really bugging me still (the rain didn't help at all...), and I just was done for the day.

I came back to the flat, made soup and a salad, and watched Love Actually. I love that Madison House has tons of British movies- it's so fun to watch them and see tons of familiar places in them! Plus, Love Actually was one of the best movies ever, so it was a great thing all around! I was pretty lazy for the rest of the afternoon, until the evening when I met up with Tina. We took the tube to Leicester Square to head to the half price ticket box office and pick up our tickets for Rock of Ages for that night!

We ended up getting dinner at an Italian chain nearby, and I had a really good pizza. The timing worked out perfectly all evening- we weren't ever rushed and everything went smoothly which was awesome. After dinner, we took the tube back to Holborn and walked to the theatre which was only about a ten minute walk or so. We got there right as they opened the doors, and we headed right in to our seats! The theatre was so hilarious and definitely set the stage for the show from the second we walked in. There were bright lights and 80s huge signs everywhere and lots of neon and thongs and bras hanging from the chandeliers...it definitely felt like an 80s bar/strip club. Everyone around us was middle-aged women that were WAY too excited to be there...I'm pretty sure we were the youngest people there.

The show was SO good and so much fun! I recognized or knew much more of the music than I was expecting to, and it was just such a fun and energetic show. Definitely different than any other shows I've gone to, so I was really glad we went. I bought the CD after, so I'll be jamming to some classic 80s tunes for a while, and I'm pretty stoked about it.

It was such a fun night overall, and so good to just be on our own without all of the group around! Much needed. Oh, and my lights were all fixed when I got home- yay!

Saturday-

I woke up around 9 or so and despite the rain, decided to head out and finally go to Portobello Rd. Market in Notting Hill! I've been dying to go for a few weeks and decided to just do it. I took the tube there (like 7 stops or so, so further away than most things we do), and then walked to Portobello Road. It was very crowded, which I had been told to expect, but I didn't mind at all. It was so fun to wander in and out of all the shops and stalls of antiques and random knick knacks and art/photography and souvenirs and such...I found so many awesome things for myself and other people! The market as a whole is over 2 miles long, but I didn't get to all of it. I had to leave at one point to go find an atm (turned out to be very far away, and of course that's when it started pouring), but I came back and continued until it turned into the food portion of the market. I picked up the best, biggest strawberries and a grapefruit from a farmer's stand, and then knew I needed to leave before I wanted to buy every fruit and veggie in sight! They all looked SO good and I was getting pretty hungry.

I decided to take a bus home, since there was a bus stop right near me when I decided to head home. I waited at the stop for a good 20 minutes or so, looking at all the signs and figuring out what I needed to do, and I thought I was right...but then the bus came and it was headed the wrong direction. So I went down the street to the other side to try to get the bus heading the right direction, waited 10 more minutes, got on the bus, and was on it for about 45 minutes or so until I got off because I had NO idea where I was or where we were going. I have no idea what the heck I keep doing wrong on these stupid buses, but I get lost every time. Luckily, I got off at Paddington tube station, and was able to take a tube two stops back to Notting Hill Gate which is where I had gotten off in the morning, and then switch lines to head 7 stops back home. I'm just never gonna try to figure these buses out. They win! I give up.

When I finally got home (after an hour and a half to go about 20 minutes away), I made lunch and had my fresh fruit, and watched a movie (the Babies documentary from a few years ago that follows four babies in different countries from birth until they're walking...don't judge. It was adorable.)

Kelly and Kristina came down and hung out for a little bit on their way to go out to dinner (I passed, as I had food here and didn't want to spend any more money). When they got back a few hours later, Tina and I watched Pride and Prejudice (with Keira Knightley) and it was SO GOOD. I'm loving these British movies. Stayed up to text Kyle for a while, and then crashed!

Sunday-

Kelly had invited the four of us in the house to have breakfast up in Flat E, so we met up there at 10 and she made scrambled eggs and pancakes and bacon for the meat eaters and had a bunch of fresh fruit, and it was so delicious! It was nice to just hang out with different people than my flatmates and to just chat and relax and eat yummy food- Kelly is the best! I love that she loves to cook and bake for us :)

I was feeling really crappy (thank you, sinus infection from hell) and took it easy all day (I'm starting to sound like a seriously lazy person, but this summer has been really busy and intense, I promise! We've done a lot and it's draining!).

Watched Bridget Jones's Diary for the first time, and read and journaled and caught up on my blog, wrote a paper for Culture By Design, made myself dinner, and now am just killing time being semi-productive waiting for everyone to get home from Paris! Hoping this sickness goes away soon, or this week is going to be realllyyyy not fun.

First week of July! Classes.

Monday- Media and Politics
Our outing (after a frustrating class of our teacher on his soapbox harshly criticizing topics that are sensitive and then not listening to our viewpoints at all) was to the Imperial War Museum- full of tanks and planes and lots of war propaganda that we looked at. It was a very thorough museum with  wars and conflicts I had never heard of, and we looked mainly at media uses throughout a few major wars. It was pretty depressing overall, but the propaganda was interesting to look at and see the  differences throughout the progress of time.

I think the rest of the day was just back at the house, getting reading done for my classes, etc. Nothing too exciting!

Tuesday- Media and Society
We spent class time talking all about our final papers in groups and critiquing them. We talked about our topics and our progress with the professor and it basically took the whole class time. Our outing was to the Jewish Museum in Camden where a sweet old lady took us upstairs to give us a rundown of the museum, and then we had time to explore on our own. It was really interesting to see the history of Jewish culture and people in London throughout time.

Afterward, a group of us found a cheap Italian pizza place for lunch and all devoured our pizzas. It was so nice to finally have free time in between our classes for once...usually we are rushed to get to Culture By Design in time!

Culture by Design- we didn't have lecture, but instead met outside of class and went straight to the Museum of Brands, Packaging and Advertising in Notting Hill. I was looking forward to this outing just because it sounded different from all the other museums we've been to, and I was right. It was AWESOME. It was a tiny little place, but it was jam packed with stuff, and I wanted to stay there forever. It started out going decade by decade from 1900 to today, with the display cases full of food packaging, toys, posters and art and propaganda, fashion, games, etc. Basically anything with a brand and a package was there. It was so cool seeing how the trends changed throughout time, and seeing how many things still have stayed so similar and so true to their original design and packaging.

After that area, the displays shifted to show brands from their original creation throughout time to today. It would show, for example, Coca Cola, from the original can through every variation throughout the decades, ending in the current design. It struck me as fascinating how little most designs changed over time. I think it speaks volumes about the original designs themselves, that they truly have withstood the test of time and stayed true to their focus, which I thought was really cool. We have another media analysis project to write about this outing, and I'm really excited about it.

After spending a little less than an hour there, we rushed off to Westfield mall to look more at branded space. We went to the area of the shopping centre known as "The Village" aka the reaaaaallllyyyyy expensive stuff. We were sent off in small groups to look around and go in as many stores as we could in the time allowed, with the goal of deciding whether the spaces were classified as a "shed," "cathedral," or "museum." Sheds would be stores were everything is out and in the open and more available and perhaps more busy and cluttered and chaotic. Museums are where you go to study things, they are less accessible, more on display. Cathedrals would be the least accessible, with people going with the intent of worshipping or paying homage to the items. It was really cool to look at these designer stores that way and to classify them and to realize I really didn't like or want anything I saw. I'm much more of a thrifter and bargain shopper, and I'm 150% okay with that.

After that, we were done with classes for the day! We had a group meeting at 6:30, and then we were done for the day!


Wednesday (4th of July!)- Writing in the Public Sphere
Discussed four articles that were more current and more about the Internet playing into the public sphere, and it was really interesting, as it was topics I had covered in my paper (that I got an A- on, yay!). I had time to come up to my flat during class and look at several major news sources online and to analyze their comment forums and take notes on their effectiveness and their content, which was really interesting.

Our outing was to the Foundling Museum- an outing I had picked since some of our outings were duplicates from my other classes. Read more about it here! (http://londonpublicsphere.blogspot.co.uk/)

Afterwards, I was off to explore a new area of town on my own, about two streets over from where Madison House is. It just happened to be a random area of the neighborhood that I hadn't really explored yet, and after walking around for a while, I realized it's because there really isn't anything to see or do there except eat at places I've seen around town already. I stopped at a souvenir shop to pick up things for people, and then came home to relax. We were going to go to the Globe Theatre in the evening to see Taming of the Shrew and we were going to have to stand the whole time, so I knew I wanted to take it easy all day so my knee wouldn't hate me TOO much.

Griffin and I left to head to the theatre and our group all met up there. We had "groundlings" tickets, and I was excited for them because it was the true Shakespearean way of seeing his plays, but also really nervous about my knee holding up the whole time. I had the okay from Rusty to leave at any point if I needed to, but I love Taming of the Shrew and I really wanted to be able to see it all.

We stood at the back of the ground area, so we had a wall to lean up against and a little ledge to sort of sit on, and that helped a lot. The play was HILARIOUS and very well done! There was even quite a lot of nudity (saw much more male butt than I was ever expecting to...) and I seriously loved it. Such good actors, and such an awesome experience, and I made it the whole time! Walking to the tube station was miserable and it's been a few days and my knee is still suffering quite a lot, but so worth it.

It ended about 10:30 pm, and walking home across the Millennium Bridge at night was SO COOL. I hadn't been down by the river at night yet, and seeing the city all lit up was incredible. The new Shard building that is the highest point in the city now lit up in crazy colors, and had these green laser beams that shot out and around the city, ending on points like St. Pauls...so crazy. It was the closest thing we had to a Fourth of July fireworks show!

It was a little weird being in England on the 4th, and it made me a little sad, which I totally wasn't expecting! I'm not a big patriotic, let's go America kind of person anyway, so I usually am not too obsessed with the holiday, but I really just missed being with my family and friends and seeing fireworks and just having a relaxing summer evening. I realized I really have missed SUMMER. It hasn't felt like a true summer here hardly at all, and I didn't know that it would actually be something I came to miss.

I'm looking forward to coming home and having hot weather (not excited about the humidity though...) and being able to go to the pool and beach and not having cold weather and rain every day. It will be nice to have a real summer in the States.

An end and a beginning

Today, I wrote on the last page of my journal. I started this one on January 29 of this year, and it's now full on July 2. It's full of prayers, the aches of my heart, the joys of my spirit, the daily goings-on of my life, and it's full of God's faithfulness.

They're words on a page. It's a simple journal. It's lined pages with black ink.

But it's more. It's God showing up, time and time again, in every season, in every fickle mood of my soul. It's answered prayers and ones that are still at work. It's not just my story- it's His. It's life alongside the Creator of life, my tiny steps attempting to follow the bigger footprints of the One who is leading me through my days.

It's my small group going through Ephesians and being radically transformed and brought to life "because of his great love," "by grace," "to show incomparable riches," "to do good works." It's prayer requests of the girls who weren't just a small group, but my family and my community. It's worry about upcoming knee surgeries and struggles through the pain of rehabilitation and healing. It's prayers for those in my life who don't know You. It's large group messages and teachings from those wiser than I. It's wrapping my head around what Sabbath truly means- to pray, and to play. It's living Sabbaths out every week and seeing God meet me in those days when I focused solely on Him. It's a verse a day, diving in to the truths of God's word and what it means in my life. It's confusion. It's doubt. It's realizing I have a story. It's reflections on trips back to Arizona and all that came with that wonderful week. It's Hope Church and messages that challenge and encourage me and open my eyes. It's surrender. It's leading small group and experiencing the challenge and joy of teaching the Word. It's Draw Near and daily quiet times alongside hundreds of other believers. It's learning how to love my family better. It's Easter and celebrating new life and that beautiful exchange. It's understanding the roles of husbands and wives and what women and men were created to be in godly relationships. It's learning I would be a small group leader and finding God's calling for me in that. It's trusting. It's grasping the "richness of true life and freedom from this life." It's listing who my Abba says I am and letting those sweet promises wash over me. It's looking back at how God was faithful to my small group's vision of growing in identity and intimacy. It's Chapter Camp and deepening my understanding of the book of Mark and how to lead. It's the start of a new relationship and thanking God for all that it brought to my life. It's coming to London. It's love for this city and a passion for its people. It's learning how to be patient and extend grace more freely. It's learning humility. It's being broken and being revived.  And it's not over yet.

Here's to the next journal, to the next days and weeks and months of God at work in me, and pages that tell the story of His power and grace and love.

The weekend

Friday was fiiiiiinally the day my little secret from my roommate would be out in the open- her boyfriend flew to London to surprise her! Her boyfriend, also named Kyle, had been messaging me for a while to plan things, and I was so excited and anxious for him to be here so that everything would work out! She went to the airport to drop her parents off who had been here for the past week, and they stalled for time until Kyle got there and they all met up! I'm so happy for her (and a tad bit jealous too...)! They're off in Looe this weekend so I have the room to myself, which is very nice, I must say.

I hung out at the house most of yesterday, just blogging and reading and such trying to kill time until they got home from the airport. I ended up going out to run some errands and try to find some souvenirs in shops around the area, and when I got back, Amanda and Kyle were here! We chatted for a while and they went off exploring and Mimi and I ended up going out shopping in Oxford Circus.

Four hours and lots of purchases later...I have lots of beautiful new clothes and I was exhausted! We met up with Ian at wagamama for dinner (so good) and came home. The three of us and Tina hung out here and drank and talked for a while, hung out with Liz when she got home and we found where she had been hiding from us out around the neighborhood, and I went to sleep around 2ish.

Today, I slept in and it was SO NICE. My knee is wearing down rapidly and I was just so physically exhausted and really needed to be lazy for a while. I haven't even left the house today...oops. Did my laundry, SKYPED KYLE YAYYYY, am now totally caught up on my blog and my class blog too, wrote a bunch of postcards, read, had dinner, and have been totally and completely enjoying my weekend of alone time :)

I'm feeling so much better about things overall than I was a few days ago, and I think this weekend and rest was exactly what I needed. The fact that there are three weeks left is scary. I don't know if I'm ready to leave! Definitely need to make the absolute most of the rest of time I have here.

Wimbledon!

Kristina, Mimi, Ian and I left the house just after 7 am to take the tube to Wimbledon!
We got there about 45 minutes later or so, and walked from the tube stop with EVERYONE else from the tube to get to the queue and line up! We were nervous about getting tickets, but we got our queue cards and I felt confident that that meant we would get tickets! It was just a huge grassy field with thousands of people lined up and hanging out with picnic blankets and such!

About two hours later, after a few rain showers and spending three pounds to buy a picnic blanket along with a newspaper, a poncho, and a cool woven bag, our line moved and we were able to get in!

Once we got in, we had access to all the grounds! We went and saw some practicing, and then wandered around and found matches that Ian told us were good (he's a big tennis fan and knew everyone, so I was glad he was there to lead us around!). It was a HUGE place and I was surprised at how close we could get to the games and players! The biggest matches were for ticket holders and were in the bigger courts like they show on tv, but we saw some awesome matches and it was great!

It was SO HOT out and I was sweating like crazy, and dehydrated, and I got reaaallllyyyy tired of standing almost the whole time (my knee is getting so much worse). We got lunch in the middle, which was a nice break from being in the sun. It was just a tiring day, but I'm so glad we were able to go and have the experience of going to Wimbledon! I don't know many of the players names, but here are pictures from the day:

The girls went to to the store and then left around 5, and Ian stayed to watch more. I didn't feel well and I was beyond exhausted and just ready to be off my feet and out of the sun. The tube ride back went well and I came home, took a cold shower, and crashed super early! An experience I was glad to have, but don't think I would ever do again.