Monday, July 2, 2012

An end and a beginning

Today, I wrote on the last page of my journal. I started this one on January 29 of this year, and it's now full on July 2. It's full of prayers, the aches of my heart, the joys of my spirit, the daily goings-on of my life, and it's full of God's faithfulness.

They're words on a page. It's a simple journal. It's lined pages with black ink.

But it's more. It's God showing up, time and time again, in every season, in every fickle mood of my soul. It's answered prayers and ones that are still at work. It's not just my story- it's His. It's life alongside the Creator of life, my tiny steps attempting to follow the bigger footprints of the One who is leading me through my days.

It's my small group going through Ephesians and being radically transformed and brought to life "because of his great love," "by grace," "to show incomparable riches," "to do good works." It's prayer requests of the girls who weren't just a small group, but my family and my community. It's worry about upcoming knee surgeries and struggles through the pain of rehabilitation and healing. It's prayers for those in my life who don't know You. It's large group messages and teachings from those wiser than I. It's wrapping my head around what Sabbath truly means- to pray, and to play. It's living Sabbaths out every week and seeing God meet me in those days when I focused solely on Him. It's a verse a day, diving in to the truths of God's word and what it means in my life. It's confusion. It's doubt. It's realizing I have a story. It's reflections on trips back to Arizona and all that came with that wonderful week. It's Hope Church and messages that challenge and encourage me and open my eyes. It's surrender. It's leading small group and experiencing the challenge and joy of teaching the Word. It's Draw Near and daily quiet times alongside hundreds of other believers. It's learning how to love my family better. It's Easter and celebrating new life and that beautiful exchange. It's understanding the roles of husbands and wives and what women and men were created to be in godly relationships. It's learning I would be a small group leader and finding God's calling for me in that. It's trusting. It's grasping the "richness of true life and freedom from this life." It's listing who my Abba says I am and letting those sweet promises wash over me. It's looking back at how God was faithful to my small group's vision of growing in identity and intimacy. It's Chapter Camp and deepening my understanding of the book of Mark and how to lead. It's the start of a new relationship and thanking God for all that it brought to my life. It's coming to London. It's love for this city and a passion for its people. It's learning how to be patient and extend grace more freely. It's learning humility. It's being broken and being revived.  And it's not over yet.

Here's to the next journal, to the next days and weeks and months of God at work in me, and pages that tell the story of His power and grace and love.

No comments: