Thursday, April 12, 2012

Drawing near

The sheer number of ways that God has blown me away lately are seriously too high to count. I said earlier this week at small group that my "happy" of my past week had been being on a serious spiritual high, and it was instantly pointed out (Vianne, THANK YOU, you're awesome), and I SERIOUSLY agree, that this way I'm feeling is going to stick around.

God is at WORK. He is on fire and He has awakened my soul and I'm hungry for Him in a way I've never felt before.

There's just something awesome about how God draws near to us when we draw near to Him. I've never seen this more clearly than I have this year. Doing the Draw Near quiet time initiative this month and having a clear intention and focus in my quiet times these past few weeks has been an awesome jumping off point for God to just wow me. And He has, in ways I don't even know how to explain.

Looking back on who I was when I came to JMU and at how I've grown in my relationship with Christ and just as a person and as a daughter of the King in the semesters since then is incredible. I don't even recognize the girl that I was two years ago. The Lord has been refining me through the fire and molding me and shaping me and growing me into someone that is so much more focused on Him than on things of this world.

God is SO GOOD. Every semester, I grow and I learn and I change so much and I think, "God is awesome. How does it get better than this?! I love this place that I'm in and everything that He's showing me despite all the challenges I've faced. Where will I go from here?!" But there's always more. God's not done, He's not finished, He's not giving up on me because I've gotten better.

There's more ahead. How awesome is that? To know that even though I've come so far, there's still more ahead! There are still so many plans and so much more refining to be done in every aspect of who I am. I'm so excited for that. I'm craving more.

I want more of Him. I want so much less of me; I want to give up everything I've ever held on to or put before Him or devoted my heart to in place of Him. I want to surrender. I WANT TO. When would the old Rachel have ever said that?! When would I ever have wanted to not be the one in control?!

It blows my mind how desperately I want to lay down at His feet and just give it all up. I want to raise my white flag and wave it boldly and then bow down humbly in awe and fear of my Savior and Creator.

I can't get over how near He is to me. How evidently I can feel Him. How clearly I'm seeing Him at work in the details of my life. How powerful He is to break chains and bring freedom. How sovereign He is.

Abba, I love you. With everything.

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